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Pa Then wedding rites
Wedding is an important ceremony for the Pa Then, a small ethnic minority group living in the northern mountainous provinces of Ha Giang and Tuyen Quang with a population of over 6,800.

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Ta Thi Tam

Ethnology Institute

Wedding is an important ceremony for the Pa Then, a small ethnic minority group living in the northern mountainous provinces of Ha Giang and Tuyen Quang with a population of over 6,800.

A Pa Then wedding goes through many steps each of which reflects the group’s original cultural traits.

The first step of a Pa Then wedding is the proposal ceremony in which two male matchmakers are sent to the bride’s family to propose the marriage on behalf of the groom’s family. One of the matchmakers must be a relative of the groom. Before the matchmakers’ visit to the bride’s family, the groom’s family kills a cockerel to forecast the success of the proposal by seeing the fowl’s feet. With a black umbrella in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, the matchmakers set out on a good date chosen by the groom’s family. On the way to the bride’s home, they are not supposed to drop into any places. Arriving the bride’s home, the matchmakers do not enter the house immediately, but standing outside alluding to the proposal. The bride’s family offers the matchmakers a meal during which the matchmakers inquire into opinions of the bride’s family about the marriage. A proposal is believed to fail if the groom’s family sees a funeral, hears a muntjac’s sound or a snap of a tree branch or has a bowl or dish broken on the proposal-making day.

If the bride’s family accepts the proposal, then comes the second step with the matchmakers visiting her family again, asking for the hour and date of birth of the bride which are written in Han Chinese on a pink paper. The groom’s parents then see a fortune teller who will find out if the dates of birth of the bride and groom match.

If the couple is a good match, the matchmakers pay the third visit to the bride’s family, bringing some offerings and informing her family of this match.

This visit is followed by another when the matchmakers come to discuss about the offerings brought to the bride’s family in another ceremony to exact wedding presents. The offerings are usually silver coins and silver earrings for the bride.

Then comes the ceremony to exact wedding presents in which the matchmakers bring two silver coins, two bottles of wine and a hen as offerings to the bride’s ancestors and a pair of silver bracelets or earrings as gifts for the bride. The bride’s family invites the matchmakers to a meal during which they make final decision on the wedding by seeing a chicken’s feet again. The matchmakers give the bride’s family the silver coins while the bracelets or earrings are kept for the bride until the wedding day. The two sides then discuss and agree upon the wedding presents which usually include 18 silver coins, 12 litters of wine, eight capons, 150 kg of rice, 100 kg of pork, another 70 kg of wine and 25 French Indochinese coins.

The groom’s family prepares the wedding presents as informed by the matchmakers while the bride’s family readies dowries for the bride, which include clothing, quilts, cushions and some jewelries.

The wedding is held on a good date chosen by the groom’s family. One day before the wedding, the groom and two other men carry to the bride’s home a bamboo cage of eight capons which must be raised by the groom’s family. The cage, which is decorated with colorful fringes, is accepted by the bride’s family and placed near the ancestor altar. Upon this visit, the bride must avoid to meet the groom, staying one night at a neighboring family. This family must be a happy one whose parents are still alive and have both sons and daughters. While staying there, the bride is made up and dressed up by her sisters.

On the wedding day, before the groom’s family arrives, the bride, accompanied by her bridesmaids, comes back home from the neighboring family, entering the house through the sub entrance door.

The groom’s procession to escort the bride comprises two village mandarins, two escorts of the bride, the groom, two groomsmen, two unmarried girls and some cousins of the groom the number of whom must be even, symbolizing unity of the couple and their marriage. The group, which must enter the bride’s house in a good hour, is received by the wedding host, an elderly person of the bride’s clan. The bride’s family sends its members to receive the wedding presents from the groom’s family and keep hats and umbrellas for the guests. When the two families are talking, the groom and bride make a tray of offerings to the ancestor altar in a rite to see off the spirit of the bride to her husband’s home. The groom removes a covering kerchief for the bride’s ancestors to see his face.

At a chosen hour, the groom’s procession leaves the bride’s home. On the way to her husband’s home, the bride in Pa Then traditional dress made by herself must have her face covered with a veil. When the bride escort procession arrives, only some of the groom’s family members stay to receive the bride’s family while others leave for a neighboring family. The bride’s family stays overnight at the groom’s. At midnight, the groom’s family holds a ritual to receive the bride as a new family member. The groom’s clan head conducts the ritual in the presence of the new couple and the parents and siblings of the groom. After that, young people from both families join responsive singing throughout the night.

The next morning, representatives of the two families meet the bride and groom, giving the couple their last advices for a happy family life. The wedding closes and the bride’s family leaves for home. The bride runs after them but is stopped by a girl from the groom’s family who gives the bride a broom, symbolizing the housework the girl will now take charge of as the daughter-in-law of the family.

After the wedding, the groom’s family chooses a good date for the new couple to pay a visit of gratitude to the bride’s parents. The visitors, including the bride and groom, the groom’s parents and a matchmaker, bring two bottles of wine and a pig leg as offerings. The bride’s family treats the groom’s a meal during which they advise the couple on how to get along well. After the meal, the matchmaker and the groom’s parents return home while the bride and groom stay for two nights. After some time, the groom must take his wife home again, offering her parents another two bottles of wine and a pig leg to thank them for giving birth to and raising his wife. When the lunar New Year comes, the couple visits the bride’s home again, staying there one night to celebrate the New Year with her parents. The next morning, the groom leaves while his wife stays for several days. When taking his wife home, the groom is accompanied by some friends.

The Pa Then has the matrilocality custom under which a son-in-law can stay with his parents-in-law either temporarily or permanently. A groom can stay permanently with his parents-in-law if they do not have a son. In this case, the bride’s parents must send a person to the groom’s family to ask for their permission of such stay. If so agreed by the groom’s family, the bride’s family sends their representatives to the groom’s to discuss about the wedding and must hold the wedding for the couple. The groom will be responsible for affairs of his wife’s family and take care of her parents. Otherwise, a Pa Then groom still has to stay with his wife’s family for up to 12 years. The purpose of this stay is for the groom to repay his parents-in-law for raising his wife.-

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