>>The “Lu” ethnic minority people and their customary laws
Ta Thi Tam
Ethnology Institute
Wedding is an important ceremony for the Lu, a Tay-Thai language group living in the northern mountainous
Lu people are free to choose their partners. Young people find lovers through responsive singing events held in moonlit nights during which Lu girls with a white or flower-patterned kerchief covering their faces sing love songs and dance by the fire to the sound of flute played by young men.
Lu people get married at the age of 16. A Lu man would choose a virtuous and diligent wife who must know how to weave while a woman would love to have a good-natured, healthy and hard-working husband.
After in love with a girl for several months, a man asks for his parents’ permission to marry her. He then finds a matchmaker who, together with his parents, goes to the girl’s house, asking for her parents’ permission. If accepted by the bride’s family, the groom’s chooses a date for the two families to discuss the wedding.
Lu weddings are usually held in the tenth month of the lunar year after the harvest time when rice is abundant in all families. The wedding day, which is carefully selected, often falls on the day of the pig, horse or dragon, and must not fall on the date of death of a grandparent or parent. On the wedding day, if a family member of the bride or groom dies, the wedding will be put off for one year.
According to Lu custom, the husband must stay with his wife’s family for three years before bringing his wife to his own home. This stay aims to show his gratitude towards his wife’s parents for raising her. This is also the time for the groom to learn from his parents-in-law how to lead a family life and for the bride to make quilts, cushions and pillows as gifts for her parents-in-law and other relatives.
A Lu wedding is held for two days in the bride’s family, starting from the night the groom goes to the bride’s house. The groom is accompanied by two matchmakers and some brothers and cousins representing the groom’s family side. The groom’s parents are not supposed to accompany their son to his wife’s house because they are believed not to live long if doing so.
The groom’s wedding offerings are one pig, four chickens, 50-70 liters of wine and 50-70 kg of sticky rice, which will be used by the bride’s family to make a party called khau khuoi to welcome the groom to their family. All villagers are invited to this party.
Arriving at the bride’s house, the groom, bringing along a blanket and a suit of clothes in a bag, is welcomed by his mother-in-law who will take the bag and bring it into the bride’s room. This implies that the groom is accepted to be a member of the bride’s family. The bride and groom kowtow all members of her family. After that, a ceremony called hai mu khoan kin khec is held to pray for the happiness of the couple. Finishing the ceremony, the sorcerer ties threads to the wrists of the bride and groom to wish them happiness and prosperity. After that, all family members do the same thing to the couple.
The chief matchmaker who represents the groom’s family hands the groom to the bride’s family and gives the bride’s father four silver coins as “door-opening” money. The coins are offered together with a meal to the bride’s ancestors, informing them of the wedding and the arrival of the new groom. The meal includes a bottle of wine, a bowl of ordinary rice, a bowl of sticky rice and a dish made from meat or fish.
On the first day in his wife’s house, the son-in-law gives his mother-in-law seven silver coins to repay her hardship in raising his wife. The groom also has to give a sum of money to the bride’s maternal uncle who chairs the wedding and represents the bride’s family in the wedding.
After three years staying with his wife’s family, the son-in-law can go home together with his wife and children. His family and the matchmaker will come to the bride’s, asking for their permission and choosing a date for the official wedding. The bride’s family thanks the groom’s for allowing their son’s stay during which he has helped the family a lot.
In the morning of the official wedding day, the bride’s family makes a meal for offering to the ancestors, informing them of their daughter’s leaving for her husband’s home. After this offering ceremony, family members drink wine to wish the couple happiness.
The bride’s family then invites the matchmakers, parents and relatives of the groom to a wedding party. The groom’s family presents to the bride brocade cloth, a traditional costume, two bottles of wine, two boiled chicken, and especially a pair of bracelets and a necklace made of silver as the betrothal gift. The bride’s family receives the groom’s at the foot of the stairway with the bride’s maternal uncle offering each person two cups of wine which must not be rejected.
On the wedding day, the bride wears a new flower-patterned dress made by herself and a traditional scarf. The groom wears a white shirt and a traditional jacket.
After receiving the presents, the bride and her husband kowtow the grandparents, parents and other old people of her family. The maternal uncle represents the bride’s family to give wishes to the couple.
The matchmaker and relatives of the groom’s family tie threads to the wrists of the bride and groom to wish them happiness. The matchmaker then gives the couple two cups of wine, sticky rice and boiled chicken eggs which symbolize their long-lasting attachment. The matchmaker also gives each wedding guest a wax candle and a piece of chicken and offers chicken legs to the grandparents, father or maternal uncle of the bride. A pair of chicken feet are used by old people to foresee the future of the couple.
After the party at the bride’s home, the groom’s chooses a good hour for the couple to depart. Before bringing the bride home, the groom must invite his father-in-law and old people of his wife’s family each two cups of wine. The father-in-law gives his wishes to the couple. This is the time for the bride’s family to give wedding presents to the couple.
When escorting the bride home, her family brings along all cushions made by the bride for offering to her parents-in-law and other relatives.
The parents of both the groom and bride are not supposed to take or escort the bride because the Lu believes parents who escort their daughter to her husband’s house take away their daughter’s prosperity. The maternal uncle represents the bride’s family in the procession escorting the bride, which is led by the matchmakers. When arriving at the groom’s home, the bride is received by her mother-in-law who takes the bride’s bag and umbrella and accompanies her to the couple’s room. Members of the groom’s family once again tie threads to the wrists of the bride and groom, praying for their happiness and prosperity. After that, the groom’s family holds a party to congratulate the young couple on their marriage.-