>Gong playing, unique festival of the Muong
>>Conventions and practices of "Muong" ethnic minority
Ta Thi Tam
Ethnology Institute
The Muong, which follows monogamy and exogamy, is choosy in finding spouses.
For the Muong, the fourth largest ethnic minority group in Vietnam with a population of nearly 1.3 million, a woman is considered a wonderful wife if she is gentle, well-mannered, hardworking and good at farmwork and housework. She must also know how to grow cotton and weave cloth. If she is the oldest daughter-in-law of a family, she additionally must be conversant with affairs related to the lunar new year and other festive occasions.
A perfect Muong husband must have good health and be kind. He must also be expert at tilling and making bamboo domestic utensils.
The Muong has proverbs about talents and virtues of its women and men such as to know a woman, one must notice her dress fringes; to choose a daughter-in-law, one must see the rice basket in her home; or to find a son-in-law, one must go to his rice fields.
Muong people are free in love and marriage. Young people find lovers through fairs, festive days and particularly spring trips. They express love through responsive singing of folksongs after which boys usually give their beloved silver bracelets or brocade bags as objects of belief. A girl would receive such gifts if she loves the boy.
Premarital sex is forbidden for Muong lovers who will be fined if caught red handed. A pregnant unmarried girl must pay a hefty fine of nine buffaloes and nine cows to the village which will hold an accusation meeting for her. This meeting is attended by all villagers who will have a meal made from the fined buffaloes and cows.
Muong people usually get married at the age of 17. People aged 30 are considered too old for marriage. The group follows exogamy under which marriage or sex between people from the same paternal clan is strictly prohibited. Married couples who come from the same clan are strongly condemned and punished by the community. They would be abandoned by their clans and expelled from the community.
A Muong wedding, which goes through complicated formalities, is costly due to colossal wedding presents offered to the bride’s family as compensation for its loss of a working hand. Apart from presents for the bride and cattle and food for her family, the groom’s family has to pay a lot of money and prepare wine, rice, pigs, betel and areca for offering to the bride’s on the wedding day. In the old days, poor men had to give up their love because their families could not afford wedding presents. Some even had to sell land and property to marry their beloveds.
Divorce is barely seen in Muong couples who must obey strict rules of their clans. A wife who wants to divorce must return all the offerings her husband’s family has paid for her marriage. If the husband takes the initiative in the divorce, the couple’s property is divided into halves.
According to Muong custom, a widow or widower must be in mourning for her or his spouse for exactly three years, three months and ten days. If a person gets re-married ahead this mourning duration, she or he will be scorned by villagers and such marriage is believed unhappy.
The Muong has the custom to hold a wedding before the funeral of the bride’s or groom’s parent in case that parent unfortunately dies after the engagement ceremony but before the wedding day. In this case, the dead is kept in his or her home for 100 days without any mourning ceremonies. After 100 days, the two families choose a date coinciding with the date of death of the parent to hold the wedding after which the funeral can be held. After the wedding, the couple is not supposed to have a child within three years, three months and ten days which is the mourning duration for their dead parent. If breaking this rule, they will be fined a buffalo, a pig, sticky rice and a silver bar.
Under the Muong’s matrilocality custom which can be lifelong or impermanent, a son-in-law may permanently stay with his wife’s family if her family has no son. In this case, he is regarded as the son of the family and becomes its heir, taking charge of worshiping family ancestors. The bride’s family is supposed to arrange marriage affairs and pay all wedding expenses but the groom’s family must not exact wedding presents. The wedding is held twice at the groom’s and bride’s families. At the first wedding ceremony, the bride must go to her husband’s family to greet his ancestors and relatives, offering his parents and relatives such gifts as quilt, mosquito net, pillow and cushion. Then the bride’s family sends a procession to take the groom home. During the second wedding ceremony at the bride’s home, the groom must go through similar formalities as for his wife at his home. Three days after the second wedding ceremony, the couple pays a gratitude visit to the groom’s parents. After that, the groom stays with his wife’s family, shouldering all of its affairs. When the groom’s parents die, his parents-in-law must bring offerings to his family but his own parents are not supposed to do so when his wife’s parents die.
A man can temporarily stay with his wife’s family which has a little son. The duration of his stay depends on the age of his brother-in-law. A son-in-law who stays at his wife’s home for 10 years or longer will receive half of her family’s property.-